Hi everyone. It has been 3 years since I've posted anything here, and I don't intend to disappoint with this post - I've made a video game called Mark Leung, a downloadable single-player PC role-playing game. Visit markleung.com for more details.
Quite an undertaking, huh? I did hire artists and programmers to work with me, but I really wrote it, directed it, and designed the game mechanics. I even wrote the damage formulas and designed every single ability in the game myself.
Here's the walkthrough for y'all who can't be bothered to play the game or just to get an idea of what it is. Let's get started.
==Happy Valley==
Your epic quest begins as you, Mark Leung, open a treasure chest in search for Ginseng. In the world of Untitled, Ginseng does not grow on the ground - they are found inside treasure chests.
Head up the hill to meet your first monster - a Kitten. Follow the tutorial to ambush it. After defeating the monster, make your way across the bridge.
You should arrive at another treasure chest containing your first piece of armor - the Torn Cardboard Armor. Put it on. You should also have learnt your first passive ability 'Counterattacking' by now. Put that on too.
Keep moving forward to get a cut scene with your girlfriend. She doesn't join the party, but the fat, ugly bitch clings onto you (like a bitch). Ignore the treasure chest on your right as it's not obtainable in this episode.
You soon reach your next treasure chest, but the Giant Bear is one step is ahead, so you open attack at it.
<Boss Battle: Giant Bear>
Frida decides to get in your way and joins in the battle. You turn out to be outmatched by the Giant Bear. Fortunately, Frida enrages, transforms into a dog (technically speaking, a bitch) and chases it away with a powerful attack. It then performs a Love Bite at you, to which you would unwillingly perform a Counter Attack at it's face. Hilarity ensues.
You decide that you aren't going take anymore of Frida's shit, so you make an epic rant and dump her. Furious, Frida turns into a dog and charges at you, pushing you off the cliff and into a river.
You climb back up right front of a sofa. Do use it. It's a game saving mechanism that recovers your HP.
Proceed further and you will encounter some cut scenes involving some girls and stereotypical pirates. Open the chests that the girls are using to hide from. They tell you to go away because treasure chests disappear when you open them, causing them to be revealed. You do not listen.
The second chest contains a sword upgrade. Time to switch from a Tree Branch to a Cardboard Sword.
The pandas have a lot of HP so you will want to use Combo Strikes on them. Keep following the path to your right and you will find the Ginseng from the last chest those two girls are hiding from. Now that the girls have run out of treasure chests to hide from, the blond girl throws a fit, alerting the pirates nearby. The pirates arrive and carry the girls away, but before they leave, the blond girl blames you for kidnapping them. The pirates throw you down the cliff.
==Hong Kong (Southwest)==
There is a sofa straight ahead of you. Do save. A little further on your left stands a little girl named Panda Hater.
<Side Quest: Panda Overpopulation>
Panda Hater directs you to kill 10 Pandas to curb the Panda overpopulation problem. She offers a Tree Bark Jacket in return. It's definitely worth doing as her armor is a huge upgrade from what you have right now.
You won't get a full AP recovery soon, so if you are in need of AP, don't hesitate to use the Mind Sand found throughout the upcoming areas.
The main objective is to return home. In case you haven't opened the map already (F2 key), it is located in the southwestern corner of the zone. You won't be allowed to enter any other areas at this point.
==Mark's Home==
You aren't quite home yet. After reaching the area, you must proceed straight ahead to reach your house. It is encircled by orange barricades. Enter the house to get another cut scene. The Giant Bear shows up again and eats the Ginseng you just collected, causing you much emotional distress. You draw your Cardboard Sword and proceed to challenge the motherfucker.
<Boss battle: Giant Bear>
After several turns, your cousin Dick will show up and heal you. The Giant Bear will retreat again, but you pursue it to exact your revenge. The area you are in contains some valuable treasures. The chest on the western end of the beach however is blocked by a chair - and you can't move chairs yet. So that will have to wait.
Dick's special ability is Fake Death. It will cause monsters that have detected you to reset and forget about you, essentially resetting it. Return to Hong Kong (Southwest).
<Side Quest: Pen0r Malfunction>
There is now a Desperate Man in front of your home asking for some help with his pen0r (in other words, his penis, dick, cock, willy or wang). His mentions that his penis was possessed by a Clown Demon and that it's been spinning like a fan non-stop ever since. He directs you to collect two Bat Fangs for him so that he can suppress his own penis by poisoning it. You will be fighting bats soon anyway so there's no harm in taking his quest.
Head directly north, then pass through Hong Kong (Northwest) to reach Kowloon.
==Kowloon==
The Giant Bear rampages through the town and into Teh Cave. On it's way, it has also stolen a Noobist Priest's Furniture Glove (why there's a priest in a playground I leave it to your imagination) Save your game as you enter the town.
Fruit Vendor offers a simple quest to deliver his smashed up fruit to Fook Yue Seafood Restaurant at Central District under the 'organic produce' label.
As you attempt to enter Teh Cave, a Noobist Cleric and a Vegetologist Cleric stop you, claiming that you must join one of their religions before they will let you pass. You and Dick reluctantly join the Church of Vegetology and proceed into Teh Cave.
==Teh Cave==
Take the Vitamin A given to you by Vegetologist Vegeta for a permanent attack boost. Proceed through the cave to reach the Giant Bear. Make sure you don't miss the chest under the waterfall - it contains Polystyrene Coverings, an armor upgrade unless you are wearing Tree Bark Jacket.
In the final room, you discover a Feng Shui Shrine - a pile of furniture put together by a Feng Shui Master that dramatically affects peoples' lives. From the way it is set up, Dick believes that it is probably set up to punish someone big time. The Giant Bear shows up from behind the shrine and charges at you.
<Boss battle: Giant Bear>
Tanking the fight with your Insult ability will make things a little easier. At 40% HP, the Giant Bear will cast Mating Call and summon an additional Bear to fight by its side. Take it down a.s.a.p. as its Instant Rabies is pretty dangerous.
After the battle, you find the Furniture Glove stolen from the Noobist priest, so you take it for yourself and put the glove on. Suddenly gaining the ability to move chairs, you decide to knock down a chair nearby. This breaks the Cockroachfying effect of the Feng Shui Shrine, thus saving all the people who have turned into cockroaches in Hong Kong.
Exit Teh Cave via the shortcut previously blocked by the chair. There is a protest outside the Church of Vegetology. You want to go home, but Dick insists on converting out of Vegetology, even if it means converting to Noobism. So enter the Church of Noobism on your right.
Father Diksh*t was just done with his morning mass, announcing that the return of the Cockroachfied people marks the decline of their rival religion, the Church of Vegetology. Head to Father Diksh*t at the end of the room and talk to him. Since you are a wearing a green belt, which indicates your Vegetologist affiliation, he calls you a traitor and demands money and service before he will allow you to join his religion. Talk to him again to start his quest to kill the Bad Vegetables.
The two Bad Vegetables are disguised as humans and are hiding among the protesters near the Church of Vegetology. If their dialogue contains the word 'kerp', it's a Bad Vegetable, and you should press 1 to open attack. Once you're done killing both of them, return to Father Diksh*t to convert into a Noobist.
Exiting Kowloon takes you to a cut scene where an unidentified villain throwing a fit inside an unidentified lair. All you can make out is that he is the leader of the Bad Vegetables and that he's involved with the Feng Shui Shrines.
You are eating at home with Dick and Grandma. Some time has passed since you have inadvertently saved Hong Kong by deactivating the Feng Shui Shrine, which turned everyone who didn't eat vegetables into cockroaches.
You receive a letter telling you to meet King Kong at Central District for a reward. You dismiss it as spam but Dick convinces you to go and get it. Grandma also assigns you some errands to run at the item shop and the pet shop.
Since Dick agrees to fight if you agree to hare some healing, both of you gain each other's support classes. You and Dick will now begin to gain SP for your respective support classes.
From home, head east all the way to Central District. Have a go at the Giant Rabbit on your way there if you are feeling confident.
==Central District==
Upon entering the town, Dick dashes towards his favorite bubble tea place - 2 Gals 1 Cup. Meanwhile the mysterious palm-reading fortuneteller Uncle Sh*t chats up with you and foretells your many deaths in the journey ahead.
Go to the Kong Palace now. The guards will tell you to wait because King Kong is on a lunch break. Head down the road to the iTem shop and the iPet shop and run Grandma's errand.
Both shops will be closed. Exit the house and get a scene where Dick and a white dog gets captured by Bad Vegetables. Your next task is to chase after them.
Before you exit Central District though, check out the equipment shops opposite of Fook Yue Seafood Restaurant.
==Hong Kong (Southeast)==
Dick and the white dog is seen being thrown inside the furniture prison. One of the furniture pieces trapping them inside is a chair, which you are able to move with your Furniture Glove, but Dick refuses to come out until you have killed 5 groups of Bad Carrots, so smash away. You will find the Counterattack Stance ability quite useful here. Also use Slam to interrupt their heals or their charged ability Crotch Drill.
Once you save Dick, head back to Central District and enter the Kong Palace to see King Kong.
King Kong catches you smoking in the throne room and forces you to work under him to repay your hefty fine. You are to travel to Ireland to break the Feng Shui Shrine there, reviving the Cockroachfied Pirate Navy last stationed there.
Dick leaves the party temporarily to get another bubble tea. Return to 2 Gals 1 Cup to pick him up.
Make due preparations before leaving Hong Kong for good. If you haven't killed the Giant Rabbit yet, this would be your last time to challenge it. Remember to turn in your Organic Delivery side quest to Ash Ho at Fook Yue Seafood Restaurant. Check out the spectacles of Central District, too. Like the man who got his penis stuck humping a park bench behind the iPet/iTem shop, in homage to this guy, and Ishmael and Paelstenes' complaints about each other next door.
Your next destination is the Pirate Ship, due east of Central District.
==Pirate Ship==
It's not an RPG if a ship doesn't run into a giant sea monster attack. This game is no exception. We present to you the:
<Boss Battle: Bitchkraken>
This is a rather complex battle, involving 7 enemy targets and two additional guest allies that don't follow your control. Beat down the tentacles a.s.a.p. before you work on the Mouth??? because it heals itself and requires sustained focus fire to bring down. Occasionally, the Mouth??? will spew Mysterious Substance (more like sh*t), dealing damage to everyone and also poisoning the primary target.
After defeating the Bitchkraken, Dick will leave the party to throw up. Talk to each of the two weird-looking pirates and then walk up to Captain Noah to trigger the next scene. It appears that Dick has turned into a cockroach because he hasn't eaten his vegetables.
==Dublin Port==
Soon, the ship arrives at Dublin Port in Ireland. The pirates throw you into the sea and turn around to return to Hong Kong. Meanwhile, the two weird-looking pirates jump down from the ship to join you.
By nighttime you're taken to the inn at Dublin Port. They reveal themselves to be the runaway queen and princess of Hong Kong - Queen Elsie and Princess Ines and force you to abandon your mission and accompany them to the United Nation to prevent King Kong from invading Canada.
Elsie and Ines join the party, granting you the Combat Skater support class. Ines' Dreamcaller class however cannot be passed onto other characters.
At this point, the game introduces the Journey Point system. Some items and equipment in shops have JP values. You are only eligible to buy them if you have sufficient JP.
2 JP is earned when you kill a Bad Vegetable in towns 2 JP is earned when you kill a mini-boss, such as a giant 3 JP is earned when a side quest is completed 10 JP is earned when you kill a key boss
Dublin Port contains three hidden Bad Vegetables and two quest givers offering three quests.
<Side Quest: To Kill a F*ckingbird>
Patrick 'Boo' Radley is the keeper of the Cockroachfied Hong Kong pirates at Dublin Port. He complains that a certain F*ckingbird has been harassing them lately, and so he wants you to kill it. He points you to investigate the tree behind Florida Bar. As you get near the tree, the F*ckingbird will fly off and land on top of Douche Bank.
Go near it and it will fly down and land on an old woman's head. Approach and attack them. The F*ckingbird will fly off to Shamrock Bar and the old woman will turn into a Bad Cabbage. Kill it to earn 2 JP. Next, enter Shamrock Bar. Once you enter, the F*ckingbird will fly and land between the succubus' legs and die an instant death. Return to Patrick 'Boo' Radley to get your reward.
Your main objective now is to find out how to travel to the United Nation from the local townsfolk. Soon, you discover that only Patrick Greenspan of Douche Bank knows how to get there, but he has gone into hiding because he owes money to everyone.
Talk to the Patrick sitting next to Douche Bank who will point you to investigate the puddle under the rainbow. The main path to the rainbow will be blocked by a table, so take the path behind and jump off the lighthouse to reach it.
